How do you tell a person that they are like Jims at midnight and christmas lights. That everything burns brighter when they are around. How do you say I love you in any other way?
I’m dying of strep throat can it please be wednesday again? Macklemore and showers, and the way my spurs shirt still smells like axe. Curled up with my eyes closed and head to heart, hand to hip. Can we please go back to sexy mad libs and letting me sleep even when I said I’d drive. I’m the love of his life you know. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get that out of my head. Oh oh and seeing frozen and him making a cute facebook post about it which he has never done before!
I don’t know if I feel bad about not seeing will. Last year I missed him so much it ached, but now I don’t know. All I want to do is curl up with Nathan and sleep. I want to be used to little snores and the way his body moved the bed sheets when he breathes. I want to wake up to that little boy face every day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE SEX OKAY WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK
UM. UMMMMMM. UM. CAN I JUST-
WE READ BOOKS IN BED AND THEN I GOT A BACK MASSAGE AND AN ORGASM. UM. AND CUDDLING.
And failure french toast and world domination and so romance and UGHHHH why am I literally dating perfection like what is wrong with that boy he is so just- so just.
and he missed me! and said he could get used to doing this every night. He just can’t possibly be real. I swear I’m going to wake up from a 16 year coma or in an insane asylum one day. He just really can’t be real. And I can turn him on. Bed head and zits, sleepy and sweatpantsed. Lordy lordy.
Why can’t I just lay in bed with Nathan forever? Give me three good reasons.
Eeeek I survived the wedding! and meeting ze siblings! I should get so many rewards. Brandon seemed really cool like I’m-super-awk-but-lez-be-friends. Plus love said he could dance so maybe that was it. Chelsey was a little scary but like family lovable scary not bitchy sorority girl scary. Hopefully… And I think they liked me? Maybe. We didn’t really interact which I guess I kinda preferred… Matt was still nice! And Aunt Kathy seemed so silly and lovely even though I’m pretty sure she took my shy/quiet/ihatemeetingnewpeople behaviour to mean I thought she was a freak. Totes not true! The dress was totes ugly though. Like, serioiusly bad. Plus a rock band in the background? I would have bride-zillaed allllllllllllllll ova dat bitch. Not cool. Pppplaning much? I just think having a wedding in such a central location in general is a bad idea. BUT WHATEVS it wasn’t my wedding so my opinion is zero. BUT HAHAHAHA dat club music though. Best.
NATHAN. So many boyfriend awards I cannot even. Pulling me out into the lobby to dance to Sinatra, him singing sinatra, giving me a piggy back ride to the metal cow outside and being silly in general <3 Oh gosh and putting up with me when I was going to die of hunger at the alamo. Best boy. Oh he makes me smile. AND THAT SUIT JESUS. I so very much wanted to take it off of him. In that slow, lazy, we have all the time in the world kind of way. Like fire patterns. And texting me I love you when he got home <3 And asking me genuinely, what kind of a wedding I might want. Gosh. Heavy stuff.
Ugh chelsey and her bf’s pda like ew no thanks get a room grow up ew. and brandon and his date just seemed awk, but idk.
I just want to curl up with nathan in pajama’s and have him sing me a sinatra song with fire patterns. I want to be slow and lazy and loved. He is my very best thing. My boy. Oh my darling boy.
Those days where nothing goes right and you are too stressed and you cry multiple times and you aren’t pretty.
I don’t know why it makes me so sad that Nathan doesn’t have a song that reminds him of me. He isn’t the type of boy to do such a thing. But he has a song for the almost girls and everything happy reminds me of him. I suppose it is a kind of jealousy. Wholly irrational and unnecessary. It isn’t a burning aching thing, just, sad. And lonely. And worrisome. And something I’m probably going to dwell on for WAY too long of a time when in all actuality it isn’t even a big deal at all. He is my darling boy and he has been for years. Years. How can you date someone for so long and not a single song comes to mind. Why do the almost girls get songs. Why not me. The whole day was a bit off. Like we were speaking in different time signatures. Almost the same but so so different. I hate off days. I hate that nothing reminds him of me. I hate that’s what not having a song makes me think. I am so so stupid sometimes.
i do believe i won this round of “best yearbook quote”
a friend came round to help me revise and forgot to log out of her facebook on my laptop so I’ve spent the last 20 minutes devoting her facebook to trains.
I’ve also got the middle name “ILikeTrains” pending and have joined 50 “I love trains” groups.
TODAY BETH RECEIVED THIS LETTER FROM A TRAINSPOTTING ORGANISATION. THIS FRAPE IS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL THING I’VE DONE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
Plus size model Viktoria Manas
Wh-why do we even have XS-models anymore, when we could have more beauties like this??? I might just have developed a girl-crush on her. Seriously.
she’s really gorgeous, but let’s not put down smaller ladies^